A Gutter Clean $2000 Above The Quoted Price???
It might be the best investment they ever make!
You see, I was doing a gutter clean in Mornington and this restaurant had a little issue on their roof.
It seems to be nesting season for the local birds, so when I went up there, they weren’t happy about me being there.
Now, you may remember my post from a couple of weeks ago where I was viciously attacked by kamikaze birds with a death wish…
Well let’s just say that PTSD is real!
There was a flock of crazed “Hitchcock” type seagulls circling above my head and they were mad.
As I was walking across the roof one started to swoop down close to my head.
“Wwwwhat was that?”
I started to get flash backs of my savage attack…
I thought I’d moved past this, but I was wrong…
“H…hey guys, I d…don’t want to hurt you, I’m only here to clean the gutters.”
“We can get along can’t we?”
“Crawwwww, crawwwww, ATTACK!!”
And in an instant, I was being pummelled with seagull missiles, if you know what I mean…
That was enough for me…
I got out of there quick smart while 5, no make that 25 psychotic birds hurled death threats at me…
“Craaaawww, Craaaawwww!”
I swear I saw one even make a gun gesture towards me…
But you know me, I’m not taking this lying down…
The owner and myself started to concoct a plan to overthrow these menacing birds.
A quick Google search and we found our answer…
Hire a Hawk to sit on your roof for a week and your little bird problem will be gone.
Starting at $2000…
I’m like… “Perfect, let’s do it!”
The owner wasn’t thinking straight…
“Now hold on, that’s really expensive!”
“What??? These birds are out of control. They’re going to kill someone!”
But he wasn’t having it.
Alternative???
$20 fake owl from Bunnings…
I’m going back tomorrow, I’ll let you know how it goes…
The Saga Continues…
So I went back the following day and the owls were in place.
I walked up to the cafe relieved as there was not a single bird in sight.
Ahhh, this is going to be a piece of cake.
As I made my way up the ladder, I saw one seagull sitting on the roof…
He looked at me and let off an almighty “Craaaww!”.
And instantly he’s joined by his gang.
It looked like a scene from the Michael Jackson BAD video…
I look over searching desperately for the fake owls. I spot one hanging off the side of the building, the other one is nowhere to be seen…
Dang it!
I knew we should have got the $2000 hawk.
Oh well, it’s too late now.
The thing is, I knew the owls would let us down so I came prepared…
I had my secret “bird fighting” weapon…
My trusty cobweb broom.
No, I didn’t wack those crazy birds with the broom!
No, I’m a lover not a fighter…
I held the broom above my head with one hand and kept the other hand free to clean the gutters.
The broom gave me an extra metre of freedom from the deadly swoopers.
Long story short…
The owner was really judgy…
He laughed and said “I saw you on the roof with your little broomy thing”.
But I didn’t care because…
I won, suckers!
I got all the gutter cleaned and saved the restaurant from certain floods.
Morale of the story…
If you need gutter cleaning done under the most difficult of circumstances, you now know who to call.
0466183548…
That’s me.
